JOHN* used to wake up every morning and feel guilt, shame and remorse before getting out of bed.
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"'What did I do last night?'", he'd think.
He would put his arm around his wife at the time and hear her ask, "'did you mean what you said to me last night?'".
The 70-year-old Tamworth local battled an addiction to alcohol for four decades.
"I built all these walls around me to protect me from the outside world," he said.
"Inside those walls there was this terrified little individual.
"And the easiest way to cope, was to pick up a drink."
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A funny thing happened when he first approached a self help group.
He realised the dramas that were happening in his life, weren't his alone, because he heard his story told by others.
But, staying sober isn't easy, and according to him, it requires support.
John has joined the Fair Treatment campaign which visited Tamworth to push for more and better services for people who struggle with alcohol and other drugs.
The campaign has listed a peer mentoring program among its list of demands.
Being able to reach out through mentoring was John's saving grace.
"I know what it's like to be able to have somewhere you can go and talk to like-minded people and get that support each day," he said.
Alcohol addiction can take your life before it takes your life, he said
"You can lose everything that you've got, and still think you're going okay."
- Name has been changed*
- Support is available for those who may be distressed. Phone Lifeline 13 11 14; beyondblue 1300 224 636.
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