Divorce is one of the top ten most stressful life events. When relationships end, emotional battles can be difficult without adding financial arguments and children's welfare to the mix.

Working out who should live with who, who should get what and how much each of you contributed, along with what you should all be entitled to doesn’t help heal wounds or help you move forward with your new life.

Most couples strive to stay away from the court system. Apart from extra stress, time and money involved, settling out of court means everyone knows exactly what is happening. 

Plus, according to the Attorney-General, there are more than 20,000 family law matters currently awaiting resolution before the courts, with the median time taken to reach trial in the Family Court sitting at 17 months.

Attempting to work amicably through the divorce process should always be the goal - after all a civil separation of lives is in the best interests of all parties, including children, pets and extended family and friends.

Sometimes couples do this on their own, but more often it is after having received some independent legal advice of what would be an appropriate settlement.

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Even if you are absolutely certain that you and your soon-to-be ex-partner can navigate the choppy waters of separation and divorce in a calm and rational manner, it is still advisable to seek legal advice before deciding on how to proceed.  

A lawyer will help you understand your rights and responsibilities and can explain the law that applies to your case. They can also help you and your former partner reach an agreement without needing to come to court.

And it is also a good idea to draw up a list of lawyers you may want to meet with and make appointments as soon as possible. Like any other partnership, your lawyer must be someone you gel with, and who will support you through what may be a difficult time. 

You may consult more than one legal professional before you find the one who is the best fit for you. 

Don't be put off because of cost. Ask about the cost involved for an initial meeting. Then when you do meet,  ask more detailed questions about the cost of completing the whole divorce process.

Alternatively, call the Family Relationship Advice Line (1800 050 321). They can provide assistance  to families affected by relationship or separation issues.