“Something tells me….”
Likely you have heard of that super-charged ocker voice advertising yet another unbelievable feat in the home renovation stakes, where various teams are pitted against one another for high cash rewards.
The latest hard-sell announcement was along the lines of, “Something tells me things are not going to be the same around here … anymore!”
He gets away with it because everyone has seen him on national television. His building expertise has been tried for all to see in full living colour; more or less plank by joist, nail by rivet. He makes stuff that doesn’t fall down!
Our choice of who to give an audience to has undergone a remarkable shift in recent years. While at one time we may have listened to religious ministers, these days we question their agenda.
Home Improvements have jumped the ladder to first position on the idiot box (which begs the question of what we intend to get out of the exercise).
As we channel surf amid flash flood tsunami waves of advertising for outrageously high-priced motor vehicles (which I could never afford), cooking competitions showing gourmet dishes the likes of which will never pass my lips, and campaign speeches of political parties (all of whom have lost our confidence), we pause at the how-to-do-it shows.
If we move on to programmer’s re-runs of the 99th showing of Gilligan’s Island or MASH, we soon press back to segments on ‘how to’ build, cultivate, fix, upgrade, and generally feather our nest with a better version. What? Not you?
Never mind, even if your tool kit is nothing more than an old cardboard shoe box holding a ramshackle assortment rusty pliers, random washers, and a twisted Phillip’s Head screwdriver, with a clay-encrusted trowel beside it (which goes missing on occasion), you may still regard yourself as Mr. Handyman of the year.
You will give riveted (or nail-gunned) attention as ladies and gentleman, backlit by the blue screen, smash down walls, angle grind metal girders, construct retaining walls, and somehow escape tornado gusts of asbestos dust to breathe another day.
Do you begin to decipher the ‘easy-to-assemble’ shelving kit that’s been in a tightly taped package and deposited one month ago on the laundry floor. Of course not!
‘Something tells me’ that the average Aussie would get more satisfaction from planting that Abelia shrub in the garden, or pulling out some nuisance weeds as we hose down the front path. After that you might take the family for a drive to the local park.
Soon Dubbo’s Elizabeth Park, Dubbo Regional Botanic Garden will have a new Nature Based, Adventure playground for all ages and abilities. Leave the sweat and tears to the TV builders. Gardens can outclass home repairs because they are more fun.