A Dubbo truck driver is using his own emotional turmoil to urge motorists to take more caution on our roads.
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Michael McGuinness, 50, was behind the wheel of a semi-trailer involved in an accident that killed four people near Bilpin on October 1.
The fifth, a woman from Blayney, later died.
He wasn’t at fault but now carries with him the emotional scars of an incident which he concedes will end his lifelong career of truck driving.
According to police an extended family of five was travelling in a Ford Falcon along Bells Line of Road at Bilpin that evening when the driver lost control as she overtook another vehicle and collided with Mr McGuinness’ semi-trailer.
Police praised Mr McGuinness for keeping his truck upright.
You only have to speak to Mr McGuinness for a short time to realise the anguish he is suffering.
He hasn’t been able to leave his home, is having trouble sleeping and spends all day, every day thinking “what if”.
“I have started keeping a diary of my thoughts and writing them down,” he said.
“A lot of the time I am thinking ‘what if I went a couple of kilometres slower’ or ‘what if I had pulled up to get a cup of coffee or something’. It’s tough.
“I am going to have to live with this for the rest of my life. And the poor family of those people will have to do the same thing.”
Mr McGuinness’ doctor has advised him to attend counselling sessions to try and help him and his wife Belinda with the emotional turmoil.
He also added that while his employer, Bunker Transport, had been great, the accident would spell the end of a 32-year career behind the wheel.
“I have been driving trucks for more than 30 years and over the years I have had a lot of close calls,” he said.
“But this was my calling card. Five people were killed and I was the one that survived.
“I moved the truck off the road to try and avoid the car not knowing where I was going to end up. I was just lucky that I put it into some land between the trees.
“That was as close as I want to come to it. I don’t think I’ll go back into trucks.”
After all he has been through it would be easy for Mr McGuinness to expect some sympathy.
But he says he will be happy if motorists heed his warning about their behaviour on the roads.
“As a truckie you see a lot of things, people speeding along, overtaking where they shouldn’t, driving too close to big vehicles,” he said.
“After what I have been through I just want to tell people to slow down and drive safely.
“It’s better to be five minutes late than dead on arrival.
“Accidents do happen on our roads. It happened to me, and these people, and we are ordinary road users like everyone else.
“I would love for nobody else to have to go through what I am going through.”