New Year's Eve telecast on ABC TV: As much fun as a long, slow night in Hell

By Karl Quinn
Updated December 28 2016 - 5:23pm, first published 4:36pm
The New Year's Eve broadcast is never short on fireworks, though it can lack a little spark. Photo: Janie Barrett
The New Year's Eve broadcast is never short on fireworks, though it can lack a little spark. Photo: Janie Barrett
The ABC's 2016 New Year's Eve telecast will be hosted by Ella Hooper and News 24 presenter Jeremy Fernandez. Photo: Ben Cronje
The ABC's 2016 New Year's Eve telecast will be hosted by Ella Hooper and News 24 presenter Jeremy Fernandez. Photo: Ben Cronje
Justine Clarke will present the earlier portion of the ABC's 2016 New Year's Eve telecast. Photo: ABC TV
Justine Clarke will present the earlier portion of the ABC's 2016 New Year's Eve telecast. Photo: ABC TV
Melbourne's fireworks play a distinctly second fiddle. Photo: Darrian Traynor
Melbourne's fireworks play a distinctly second fiddle. Photo: Darrian Traynor

There really are just two ways to spend New Year's Eve. You either ignore it completely or you take the bull by the horns, make out like Dionysius and get thoroughly trashed.

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